Haplessly Hopeful… Thoughts of a bewildered mind

Very turbulent times…
What’s there to learn in this experience?
What’s the point not quitting if there’s no eventual victory?

Do those who run not live to fight another day?
What if quitting was the wise thing to do at the time?
Does the obstinacy of undeterred optimism yield any good in the face of inadvertent failure?

I ask my self: of what gain is but this wild goose chase?
O! To what end shall I run in vain hope of seeming, though imperceptible possibility?

I stretch to the limit… give all it takes… my very best indeed… howbeit no sign of any fruition in view…

Oh! The foolishness of resilience sways besides the wisdom of quitting…
As I eagerly clinch to the tiniest strand of hope amidst a mighty storm of impossibility…

But when it’s all said and done…
Let it be said that I was that man… that man that never gave up…


My Crush


I really don’t think I could have said this any better or easier, but I love you! Yea!!! I really do.
Standing far off, I see all that you go through: the pains you feel, though your face do not show it; the fears in your heart; your many anxieties and all of such. . . I see, and how much I wished you had shared all those with me; as you know, a problem shared is half solved. I look and see those smiles on your beautiful face, oh! how I wished I had put them there. Well, often times I also see the tears that mar your face and how I long to wipe them off your face and bring comfort to your soul. I see how you often feel lonely even in the midst of everyone around you and I can’t but wonder if you knew there is a friend that could actually stick closer than a brother. I am aware of how past friends have failed you, your disappointments and heartbreaks, that I know of… if only you could see that I’ve been here all these while, patiently awaiting your attention. Above all, I so much long to share my life with you, with the hope that we could spend our forever together. Strange and scary it sounds, right? But that’s why have been here all along. To share with you my love, joy and peace so incomprehensible. If only you will say YES and give me a place in your heart, at least for a start, but what I really want is the whole of your heart just as I have given you mine.
You know, I have always pictured a day when we will be together, walking down the road side hand-in-hand, doing some really cool stuffs together, and most likely be the talk of the whole town and make the headlines – that day you finally say YES to me! How I long to see that day come to reality. . .
Oh! are you possibly pondering what I’m pondering… ? Or do you wonder who I am or even where I am?… Well, it’s ME your long lost crush!!!

“behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears
My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him,
and he with Me.” {Rev 3: 20}

“. . . today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts. . .” {Heb 3: 15}

…This is a very old original thought mused over four years ago… And the call still stands… He keeps knocking at the door of your heart… It’s my desire that you yield to his nudge today…



What will be will be…
(Rom 8: 28; Pro 20: 24; Pro 16: 4; Jer 29: 11; Phil 4: 4; II Cor 4: 16-17; Pro 3: 5,6)
At this present moment I find myself in a dilemma trying to comprehend what had happened. Okay! I know what happened, how, when and where but I just can’t understand “WHY?”
It was one of such unusual nights when I decide to take a bath before going to sleep. It was around 11:30pm, less than five hours to when I was supposed to wake up the next morning. I would normally have just gone to bed like that, but on this fateful night I decided to take a bath, and rather unnecessarily, I would like to say. Without further ado, I picked up my lamp and other stuffs and went to the bathroom. Somehow I saw a cockroach and without a second thought I decided to kill it. To cut a rather long story short, in the process of trying to kill the cockroach my hand hit the lamp from where it was placed, and down it went crashing into pieces. A sudden realization dawned on me and I began to wonder: why did I decide to have a bathe tonight? Why did I bring my lamp along? Why on earth did I not just leave the cockroach? Why? Why?? Why???
Ever found yourself in a similar situation where you did something you thought to be so insignificant or even unnecessary but which eventually turned out to be so consequential, either positive or otherwise? Or better still, have you ever woke up on a Sunday morning with such unusual urge to attend a particular church service, for instance, with really no special reason whatsoever; then you get to church and the message literally transformed your life? Then you understand why you had felt you just must be in church. If you’ve ever been in any of such unprecedented happenstances, then you just might appreciate why I was in such dilemma this fateful night.
As I sat down to muse over my predicament that night, something sounded in the inside of me: “boy! What will be will be”. Oh! How I hate that nursery school rhyme “Que sera sera, what will be will be, sera… blah! blah! blah!” You don’t blame me, would you? The fact is, just like you, I like to feel I’m in charge. That I run things around me or at least think I do. However, also like you I often happen to be victim of many a circumstances. Equally though, I won’t deny that I have had a fair share of the brighter side as well without my slightest contribution or even premonition. So even as much as I want to hate that nursery rhyme, its lyrics seem to pervade my everyday life – what will be will be!
As I sat there trying to understanding why I keep being haunted, so to say, by my much hated rhyme, there came a consolation in my mind: the thought that “all things work together for good to them that love God…” Oh! What glimmer of hope! However, I was yet to be satisfied. Still, a few more questions demand answers. Even the consoling thought made me wonder; do unpleasant and painful situations work for good? Confused. I don’t think I’m going nowhere until I get all these sorted out. There should be an explanation somehow and somewhere to these.
It’s two days later and I am yet to get my answer. In fact, I must admit I am beginning to forget about it and simply succumb to my much dreaded phrase – what will be will be. Somehow, I happen to be reading in class before this unusual lethargy came upon me. I had intended to read for at least four hours, but it’s just two hours since I arrived class and here I am thinking of leaving already. All the same, I packed my books and headed for hostel. On arriving, I jammed a senior friend who I had not seen for some months, right on the staircase, on his way out of school. Déjà vu! I thought; here we go again! How I would have missed out on his visit had I not obeyed my ‘lazy’ instinct to stop reading. Well, as I approached him, he exclaimed “how the steps of the righteous are ordered by God”, in expressing his pleasure to see me. Alas! That was the answer I had awaited for two days, coming right in the middle of another so called coincidence. Right there and then I clearly understood that indeed all things happen under God’s watch and that they ultimately work together for good.

Fate, you may say, or even nature or coincidence, but the truth is “The Lord works out everything for His own ends…”. And they all work together for good to us simply because we love Him and have put our trust in Him. Whether they be good or otherwise, we know He orders our steps towards the ultimate good that we might as yet not be aware of. Did the Bible not say that His thoughts towards us are thoughts of peace and to bring us to an expected end? So you wonder what to do at those times when things seem so bad to have any good in it? When there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, so to say? Simply rejoice! Again I say rejoice. For our present troubles can in no means compare with the glory that is reserved for us.

As I conclude, remember that what will be will indeed be, but that is because God wants it to be. So in all your ways acknowledge Him and do not lean on your own understanding.